Enjoy the Ride

My birthday started as a beautiful summer day.

I woke up from a dream about a family reunion where all our dogs were there – including the ones who are no longer alive. There was a breeze outside that immediately took me back to childhood.

After soaking up the sun until noon, we set off on a road trip. We had recently watched a TV show that inspired the drive, so the mountains were calling.

As we climbed higher, clouds began appearing one by one. A little rain. The sun still shining.

I remember thinking: “Where is my rainbow?”

We reached the lake a character from the show had drunk from – which, by all means, he absolutely should not have. After immersing ourselves in every possible shade of green and blue, we got back on the road.

By then it was raining and sunny at the same time, and I found myself thinking how fitting the weather was for my personality. The perfect mixture.

Then came the rainbow.

A big one stretching across the valley. It stayed for nearly two hours. “Got my wish,” I thought.

If you have read my short stories, you may know that the main character is obsessed with painting the sky with rainbows and shooting flying dolphins into the clouds with a ray gun her hologram coded for her.

No flying dolphins appeared on my birthday. We’re still following the rules. The rainbow was enough.

We spotted the statue from the TV show and eventually reached a mountain town which, to my surprise, turned out to be full of wealthy tourists. After a short walk, we decided to head back down.

Dinner was at a small restaurant where I was unexpectedly brought a birthday lava cake. The candle on top turned out to be one of those candles that relights itself after being blown out.

We were all completely mind-blown. It took six attempts before it finally stayed out.

Naturally, I immediately found symbolism in it. The flame that refuses to go out. Pretty on point for my life, honestly.

By the time we got home, the grey clouds had fully rolled in. A thunderstorm. Lightning, thunder, wind, and rain pouring down in sheets.

Throughout the day, the temperature had swung up and down by nearly ten degrees several times. Hot. Cool. Hot again. Cool again.

Honestly, I could not have asked for a better weather forecast on my birthday.

The only thing missing was snow. And flying dolphins. And maybe spotting a stag in the woods. But who is complaining?

As a Virgo, and apparently crying on our birthdays is a tradition many of us share, I did not cry this year.

I was simply happy to have made it to 28. If you know about the “27 curse,” you’ll understand why that felt like an important milestone. Mostly, I just enjoyed being alive.

Alongside a feeling I have carried for as long as I can remember: that nothing feels entirely real. But things do not need to feel real to be enjoyed.

There are dreams I have at night that I enjoy even while knowing they are not real. Sometimes I wonder if life is something similar: a long dream we wake up from only when we are no longer breathing through a body.

And yes, we had those deep conversations later that evening, sitting on the terrace while the storm moved across the sky.

I am not sure the point is ever to figure out why we are here. Perhaps some questions are not meant to be solved.

But one can always wonder. And one can choose to believe that maybe we are here simply to feel. To experience emotions. To experience sensations. To experience what it means to be alive in a physical world.

And, for a little while, enjoy the ride.